Summer Camp was amazizing. My life was changed forever.
Every year I go summer camp in the back of my mind is the death of my older brother Joshua James Tuiomanufili. He committed suicide on the 22 January 2007. When I heard the news I was at a Summer Camp not to dissimilar from the one I just attended. So every Camp I go to I have this weight on my head and my heart. And every year it holds me back from encountering god.
His death was a traumatic experience for everyone in my family, especially me. As a young teen I began doubting the goodness of God, and this seed only grew with time. When anything traumatic happens finding an answer is always top priority. Hurt regret bitterness and anguish is what followed. I tucked these away deep in my heart, and let them rot grow and basically become a part of my faith or my version of Christianity.
For my older brother’s death I blamed myself, and his step father. This unforgiveness stayed with me for the two years that followed until Elevate’s first winter camp in 2009 at Forest lakes. It was at this camp site that I received the news of my brother’s passing, so naturally I had no desire to go. I ended up going from peer pressure from leaders. There my life was changed but not fully as I’d later discover. My first camp encounter shook me free from the unforgiveness that I felt towards myself and Dave (Josh’s step father), but there were other people that I still held unforgiveness towards that I didn’t even know about.
Skip a head to 2012 summer camp. We’re in the last session and Ps Benny Prescott is making me cry with the story of his best mate that died tragically in a footy accident. As the story went on I couldn’t help but think of his story and the parallels with that of my Brother’s. We both had someone suddenly ripped away from us at a young age. It was at the deaths of both our loved ones that our stories became different. When Josh died I was blaming and cursing and making excuses. When Ps Ben’s friend passed away his first prayer was, “Lord you are a ‘GOOD’ God.”
When he said this it stayed in my head for a long time. Something in me began to shift. Deep roots in my mind and spirit were being pulled out. I came to the realisation that I had been harbouring unforgiveness towards our Father in heaven. I had beef with God. For a long time I battled with the idea ‘Is God really good?’ and for the first time in a long time I was finally able to say, “Yes, yes He is.”
Ministry kicks in. I get slain once, then I get up then I get slain again and fall on some chick. I’m walking around praying for people, but something isn’t right in my spirit. There’s still someone that I hadn’t forgiven. I lift my hands to worship then Levi walks up to me and says, “I’m him if you had anything you wanted to say to me what would you say?” On hearing this I broke down... I hadn’t forgiven my brother. “How could you do this to us? Do you know what you put me through? Do you know what you put Dad and Jules through? I’m sorry for not coming over. I’m sorry for not calling more and keeping in contact. I love you bro. I forgive you.” At that moment so much hurt and pain was lifted off my life, replaced with love and peace that only a right relationship with God can bring. I’m set free liberated and ready to step into my appointed time.
Time heals all wounds, but God heals them faster. There's nothing better than an environment where God is given the oppurtunity to move. Camp is one of those places where he is. Dont miss camp every again. Otherwise you're a bloody idiot.
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